Atlanta Hmong Wedding
Houa & Michelle were married back in March. Yes, I know, I am so behind on the blog! Anyway, Bowie and I met Houa and Michelle a little over a year now. We met at Carrabas when they were looking for wedding photographers. During our very first meeting, I could tell these guys were perfect for each other, and that Michelle is a sangria fan (a girl after my own heart). We met for a while chatting about their traditional Hmong Wedding. Now, there are a ton of things that they both told me but not a lot of it has stuck in my memory. The one thing that did stick in my mind after that meeting was that over 700 guests would be attending this party of all parties and that I LOVED Houa & Michelle! 🙂 As time went on, Facebook being what it is, Michelle and I got to know each other well! We all planned to run off to my hometown of Savannah to shoot their engagement session and it was a great success. We all just clicked. Leading up to their wedding we met a few more times for coffee and chatting until the big day came.
Now, imagine this. You are planning a wedding for 700 guests. In your tradition, it is custom for everyone(family) to help out and put the whole shindig on for all the guest (no planners here..family is the way of it although I am SURE Michelle would have loved a planner to help)  You can imagine a small level of stress that might bring. Houa & Michelle, with all the twist and turns of their wedding, handled their emotions like a charm. Their wedding turned out to be a huge celebration of their love for each other and their families! Bowie and I (and our assistance Bethany and Ashleigh) were treated like one of their guests and we all had a blast. We even got to dance with some lucky guest toward the end of the night (well not Bowie)! Take a look at this amazing wedding filled with lots of laughter, love, and DANCING! At the end, there is a write up from the bride and groom to give you a little more insight about their traditions! 🙂 Also, if you are interested check out this link to learn more about the Hmong culture!
The above board is part of the traditional ceremony! All the guest would come up to Houa & Michelle and tie their hands showering them with love, best wishes and blessings as they do! There was a ton of boiled chicken at this wedding as well. As you can see one of the family representatives inspecting the feet and wishbone. It is said to be good luck if the feet are curled up nicely together! Looks like Michelle in Houa is in for a good life. Oh, and how cool is it that cash is given? Talk about a great first start to a marriage!
Hmong Wedding Events by Day
So, I am sure after seeing everything this wedding has to offer there may be questions! I find this all very interesting, and Michelle & Houa we kind enough to write some facts about the Hmong tradition!
Day 1:
For the traditional Hmong Marriage to begin the soon to be bride will be taken and brought to the grooms family home. The new groom and bride cannot enter the home through the front door and must enter through a side entrance there we are greeted by a Shaman that blesses us into our home to be both accepted by the family and the ancestors. Upon entrance, messengers are dispatched to inform the bride’s family that their daughter is well and is under the care of the groom’s family. After informing the bride’s family the messengers must now also deal with negotiating a time frame in which the family representatives can meet and discuss the details of both the dowry and wedding itself.
Day 3:
3 days after the bride enters the groom’s home a large meal is created to receive the blessings and acknowledgment of the groom’s clan and ancestors. This meal cannot have the new bride to participate in any of the labor required to make the meal because during the 3 day period she is entrusted with only learning and not working. The ancestors are called upon to acknowledge their new daughter and protect her as if she was one of their own. Clan members will tie a string onto the wrists of both bride and groom placing upon them and tying them with the blessings of the future and words of encouragement. After this meal positions are appointed or allocated to clan members to find people to represent the groom’s clan during the negotiations.
Appointed Date:
The day has arrived where the families will meet to discuss the dowry and wedding date. Here the representatives of both families will meet for the first time in the bride’s home. Primarily a $5,000.00 payment would be sufficient for the dowry of the daughter but can vary from individual family to family. Once the amount is reached and a date has been agreed on for the wedding. The bride’s clan can air out any grievances or discrepancies that may have been conducted by the groom’s clan. In our culture, it is important to remember we do not just marry individuals we marry into each other’s family.
Wedding Date:
On the wedding day both the groom and bride dress in traditional attire. Here the families will have a feast involving both sides of the family where both the groom and bride must be chastised to be better as a couple or informed of how they need to grow together. Here the dowry is paid to the bride’s family in exchange for their daughter. As the feast draws to a close the groom must bow to the bride’s family. The bowing process can last up to hours as a sign of respect to the bride’s family and as a reminder that the pain you feel today should never be passed forward or as not to hit your bride. As the bride and groom leaves, the bride’s brothers and uncles are allowed to make the groom engulf alcohol. Upon drinking with each other this oral contract states that we are now brothers or sons and if we were to cross each other’s path and not recognize the other with a greeting we would be allowed to throw a rock at one another. Of course, this custom no longer holds true.
Returning Home:
Upon returning home the groom must bow and thank all the clan members for their support and superhuman effort for helping to complete the wedding. At this time the groom must also bow to all those that participated and share a drink with everyone there as well. This drink with each member of the family is to signify the bonds of our clans or our brotherhood that we have in helping one another.